We’ve all been there— one badly misunderstood text and suddenly you never hear back from her again or worse yet, she just wants to be friends. Steer clear of the friend zone with these fundamental text message do’s and don’ts for text messaging. Check out these 9 essential tips to prevent the text message cold shoulder.
Essential Text Message Dating Tips For Men
1. Understanding The 21st Century Dating Landscape
Texting via dating apps have completely changed the landscape of dating as it’s become the primary mode of communication. The days when you can just slide up next to a girl at a bar and ask her out are becoming less popular. While it’s still possible to do this, texting is now the de facto way to flirt and get to know each other better (especially with all the dating apps out there). It’s also a great way to break the ice.
2. Grammar Is Important
Here is an often-ignored point in any list of text dating tips for men: grammar. While it’s okay to use abbreviations like LOL, OMG, and ROFLCOPTER (just kidding on that one, please never use this), grammar still plays an important part when texting someone you like. Women will appreciate you if your grammar is buttoned up. It shows intelligence and maturity.
That said, you don’t need to be writing like an English professor with every text message. That would be swinging on the opposite end of the spectrum. You should, however, know the difference between their, they’re, and there. You should also know the difference between you’re and your, and its and it’s. The basics.
3. Go Easy On The Emoji
Emojis are fun. They’re part of what makes dating through text so interesting. So much can be gleaned from a simple winky face, a heart, or an eggplant emoji. One of the most important dating tips for men is knowing when to use emojis. Using them is fun and all, but remember not to overdo it.
Using emojis everywhere distracts your text partner from what you’re really trying to say. As we all know, sending mixed signals and miscommunication in dating is a cardinal sin. This takes on a different and more significant meaning when you communicate through text. Words can be interpreted in many ways. This applies to emojis even more so. Don’t underestimate the power of a well-placed (or poorly-placed) smiley face!
4. No One Survives The Flood (Of Texts)
Look we get it. It doesn’t feel nice when a girl takes eons to reply to you. We’re sure you’ve done this at least once: flooding a girl who doesn’t reply with texts. Remember how that worked out? (If it did work out, move on to the next item.)
Seriously, responding to a single text with two-three texts kind of makes her think that you’re way too eager. Try to pace your texts, preferably to one text, one reply. Don’t overthink it — just reply naturally, like how you reply to your friends’ texts. If she doesn’t reply straight away, chill out. Do something else. You’ve got better things to do than to wait for your date to reply.
5. Text Her At A Reasonable Hour
You might be a night owl, but the girl you’re dating might not be. Remind yourself to always text someone at a reasonable hour. One cute text or a shared meme at 3 am might be cute and will be enough to give her a laugh when she wakes up. However, if you start flooding her with texts at the same hour, she will likely find it weird (and possibly a bit creepy). Unless your date is working late nights, try to text during the day instead of the wee hours of the night.
6. Don’t Interrogate
We understand that you’re trying to impress this girl, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Think of her as a friend rather than as a woman on a pedestal. How do you talk with your bros? You more or less just chat, right?
Asking too many questions might give her the impression of an interrogation rather than a conversation. Be natural; talk like you usually do with friends. We get that you’re curious and might want to know more about her, but try to be lighthearted during the texting phase. Think of this as an icebreaker, rather than a legit, heart-to-heart conversation.
7. Speaking Of Keeping Things Light…
The topics of your conversations matter a lot. This goes for both texting and in-person talks, of course. Texting is supposed to be a lighter way to get to know somebody. Most girls think of it as their chance to vet their potential dates; a screening process, if you will. At this stage, you’re likely not going to talk about anything very significant. As such, it’s best to keep to light topics during this stage.
Topics that might work could be your commute today, what you had for lunch, what your hobbies are, or even an interesting event you’ll be attending. You’ll find that your girl will respond with her own little anecdotes from her daily life. Right now, she doesn’t need to hear your life story or life journey epiphany. That stage will come in due time if the connection is mutual.
8. Flirt Away
Texts are short and sweet. They provide an excellent stage for you to shower her with flirts in a non-threatening environment, but they can easily get creepy if you’re not careful.
Let the flirty texts come naturally, or initiate them every so often. Don’t go overboard and compare her to celebrities and tell her she’s gorgeous every 10 minutes. Guys often think that flirting is all about showering her with compliments. This is absolutely not the case. Sure it’s great to tell her you think she’s hot if she sends you a pic, but that shouldn’t be the only thing you flirt about.
Instead, take it to flirting about possibilities. Maybe there’s somewhere you want to take her — a new restaurant, a club, or even introducing her to a new hobby like rock climbing or going to the shooting range together. Granted, you should mean these things. If you never intend to do these things with her then you’re getting into asshole territory.
9. It’s A Date
Now that you’ve got all of that out of the way, don’t be afraid to ask her out. Texting is a pressure-free way to do this. The benefit of being behind a screen takes all the awkwardness out of the situation. Be smooth, stay casual, and select an appropriate venue or activity that matches your conversations.
How do you keep a girl texting back? Check out these dating tips for men from Based Zeus:
No amount of dating tips for men can tell you exactly how you should text a girl. Be yourself at the end of the day, but keep these texting dos and don’t’s in mind as you do so.
How do you get a girl to text you back? Let us know in the comments section.