“Just ask her out.” Such simple, yet incredibly unhelpful advice. If you’ve been wondering how to talk to that cute barista without turning yourself into the laughing stock of the whole cafe, you’re in luck. Learn the best ways to ask out a girl, and you won’t have to worry too much about rejection.
Read the Room: Should You Ask Her Out?
Many women intuitively and easily pick up on others’ intentions, feelings, and attitudes. Sadly, we blundering men are rarely gifted with such perceptive skills. You might think that waitress is flirting with you, but she’s just being friendly so you’ll give her a tip. You might think your friend has secret feelings for you, but she just sees you as a trusted confidant.
How do you know for sure if someone wants to date you before you ask? Sadly, you can’t, but you should try to figure out how she generally feels. Learn to “read the room.” Does she volunteer to spend time with you? Does she laugh excessively at your mildly funny jokes? Does she touch you and make long eye contact?
Just about everything we do in life is tied somehow to mating and reproduction. Women expect you to ask them out because this kind of bravery shows that you have the internal fortitude to raise a child. They also want you to be able to tell whether they like you. As puzzling and seemingly contradictory as this may be, it tells women that you’re socially competent, a vital quality for any father.
There are many situations in which you might consider initiating a romantic relationship, and each has its own set of rules. Some, however, are simply inappropriate for making any kind of advance. Please, don’t even bother if:
- The other person is married or otherwise taken.
- You are traveling through a conservative, Islamic country.
- She seems startled or put off by you.
- She actively avoids you.
- You’re her superior at work.
The Best Ways To Ask Out a Girl
You’ve decided to go ahead and take the plunge. How can you go about it?
1. The Warm Ask
Can you end up with someone without asking her out? Yes. This is possible, but it’s the slowest, most anxiety-inducing way to do things. The slow method or “long game” is most useful when directly asking her out would be too abrupt. If you’re co-workers, higher-ups might frown on you if you make a direct move.
If this is your only option, though, use your extra time to get to know the person. Do you have the same likes and interests? Do you have the same views on important issues? These are things that can help you decide if you really want to date her. While you get to know her, she’ll appreciate that you care about who she is. After all, few things are less attractive to a woman than a man who sees them as a piece of meat.
As long as she seems generally interested in you and you avoid seeming creepy or desperate, you’re doing well. She may even ask you out! If not, you can propose that you both go somewhere together to spend more time together. Try to find a place you both want to go, such as a favorite park or music venue.
If she agrees, you’ve succeeded, and you haven’t even awkwardly blurted out, “Will you marry me?” When you do things this way, you both know what’s happening, but it’s happened over a long time, and this can feel more comfortable than simply “ripping off the band-aid.” Unfortunately, this is among the riskiest ways to woo a lady, as attractive women usually are fielding a barrage of inquiries from other men.
2. The Cold Ask
Of all the best ways to ask out a girl, the hardest is simply cold-approaching. If you see a girl in a park or a coffee shop, and she’s so stunning that you absolutely have to talk to her, you should. Realize, however, that this method is the likeliest to yield you a fake phone number or an “I have a boyfriend.”
Failure is fine. In fact, it strengthens you. Most women are — rightfully — somewhat afraid of men. To successfully ask a stranger out, you need to establish credibility in a very short time. Ask her questions about herself, so she knows that you actually care about her personality. Explain who you are and what you’re all about. Most importantly, explain that you know it’s unusual to approach a random woman and that you simply couldn’t resist because of something (be specific!) about her.
When you’ve done all of this, ask for her phone number. If she gives it, text it immediately so she has yours, and propose a place and time to meet. End on a positive note, even if she rejects you. Don’t worry, most women are very polite, even when they turn you down.
3. Filtering: One of The Best Ways To Ask Out a Girl You’ll Really Like
Asking a random girl on the street can be risky, but so is the long game. Then what’s the best way to do it? Try to filter the girls you meet before you ask them anything. A random girl on the street is as unlikely to have a lot in common with you as any other random person. A lady from work might hesitate to say yes because she’s trying to keep up her professional image.
Instead, try doing activities that other like-minded people are likely to do. Volunteer for an animal shelter or set up sound systems for a venue. When you see someone you like, man up and ask her out as soon as you’ve built a connection. If she says no, fine, and try again with someone else. If you’ve done things right, you’ll have plenty of options.
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